The Importance of Boundaries
Our coaching staff is highly protective of our training atmosphere. It is very intentionally designed to be a protected space for young people to focus on their sport. Like all youth sports, we must continually protect this environment from well-meaning but unhelpful outside influences. Our athletes have repeatedly told us that our pool deck is their favorite place, and that practice is their favorite part of the day. This is not an accident.
For many kids this is just a fun and unique activity. It’s enrichment and physical education, and that’s wonderful. But for other kids, this is a chance to get away from some really stressful and challenging things in their day to day lives. Some of our policies make more sense in this context.
For example, during practice we prefer that NO INTERACTION take place between parents and athletes from the stands. If you need your kid to leave practice early for a special occasion that’s fine. But otherwise we want the athletes to forget that anyone else is there. Why are we so picky about this?
There are a few reasons:
We have dedicated professional instructors. Attempting to coach over them is disrespectful.
Athletes need to focus on coach’s corrections for their own safety. Seeking/acknowledging parent approval/advice is a distraction.
Kids often display a different personality away from family. Parent interaction can trigger immature and unhelpful responses in training.
Kids need to learn to get instruction from others. Sit down and relax.
Kids develop mental toughness and grit through separation and problem solving. Let them cook!
Some parents will abuse a lenient policy in this regard. We enforce it to protect against possible disruptive or toxic behavior.
It’s understandable for some to find this approach overly protective or just unfriendly. It is simply intended to protect our athletes and coaches. Our goal is to create an incredible training atmosphere for kids to pursue excellence, and our experience tells us that this strategy works for our athletes.
Perhaps it is helpful to think of our training as a sort of rite of passage for these kids. Many rites of passage include physical separation from normal support systems, physical challenges, and overcoming fear. The experience of becoming an accomplished competitor is transformational. Allowing them to have their own space to perform allows them to build real self-confidence. They mature as people. Young people need opportunities to see that they can solve problems on their own. They need opportunities to achieve milestones that are focused on self-development and self-mastery rather than on parental approval.
In doing so, we cultivate self-mastery, grit, and courage. We appreciate your cooperation in making this possible.